2021 - Lessons in Engagement (Bot9 #314)
For the past few years I’ve followed the example of Jon Gordon and others in choosing a word to guide the year. A couple of years ago I chose ‘Invite’ as my word. My understanding of that particular word continues to gain power as I invite Jesus into more and more things every day and invite others to do the same. Last year I chose ‘engage’ and I kept it in my clipboard to remind myself to engage, even when I might not want to. Like any man, I’ve got the blood of Adam in me and I’ll fail to engage like he did in the Garden. However, in the past year, I engaged more than I ever had and it made a huge difference. Here’s some of what I learned as I engaged in 2021.
Over the past two months I stepped back into the English classroom to cover a class of seniors for a teacher who had passed away. It was one of those situations where you know you are one of the people called to fill a void. Some might call it obedience, but the blessing this opportunity provided feels like so much more. It was a chance to engage.
I gave the students a final writing assignment for the semester where I introduced them to life-giving ideas around growth mindset and setting a target for their final semester of high school. Those reflective writings allowed the students the freedom to share their hearts and minds. What I read was astounding. Here’s one excerpt:
“I didn’t want a new teacher after her passing. I didn’t even want to take English at all at that time. Every time I walked into that classroom I felt like cement was being poured on me.”
Isn’t that imagery astounding? It captures what mourning feels like. A heaviness. An inability to escape. Bound. All it took was someone to engage in the difficulty to make a difference. Here’s how a little engagement changed things for this student:
“Until Mr. Wahl came. His smile and energy took all of the cement off of my shoulders and gave that reason to come into English class every day with a smile. That one teacher made so much of a difference in my life. Mr. Wahl made me stronger as a person.”
Now, this isn’t about a personal pat on the back, but rather an opportunity for me to share what I did every day with intention. You can do these things as well as you engage with those around you. And, as usual, it all starts with Jesus.
In Matthew 23:4, Jesus criticizes the religious leaders when He says, “They crush people with unbearable religious demands and never lift a finger to ease the burden.” As coaches and leaders, are we crushing people with our demands or are we trying to help people in the process? It’s important to have high standards, that’s a given. But what are we doing to make the difficult seem attainable instead of impossible? In the case of a room full of heartbroken students, easing their burden was easier than you might think. I made sure to say each of their names every day. I told them it was good to see them. I made eye contact with them. In terms of the work of the English class, I told them where they were going, tips on how they’ll find success in getting there, and kept encouraging them. It’s sounds easy, right? You’d be surprised at how often we act more like the Pharisees than we do Jesus when it comes to our demands in the classroom, on the field, and in every day life.
I’ve found that the further away I get from my playing days (maybe it’s just getting old and realizing new, seemingly daily limitations I endure physically), the more amazed I am by what players can do on a daily basis. I’ve become obsessed with doing all that I can to make sure our players feel as close to 100% physically every day as possible. I love recovery and lifting. We adopted something of a mantra last year in the long grind of the season - we’re not going to forget how to throw, hit, or field a groundball. The skill has been embedded and only needs refined. Let’s focus on the physical, mental, and spiritual health of the player so the burdens can be eased and we can love what we’re experiencing that day. Our results proved that it worked. Put the players first, put the people first, and put your personal demands away. Engage people where they are.
But don’t think for a moment that it was a perfect year. I had one situation that had me and those around me scratching their heads. And it just…..wouldn’t…..end. So what do you do when people don’t see your engagement or feel the way you thought they would? At the end of the stories of Jesus feeding the five thousand and walking on water in Mark 6, the scriptures say this in Mark 6:52 (ESV): “For they did not understand about the loaves, but their hearts were hardened.” The Message translation says it this way: “They didn’t understand what he had done at the supper. None of this had yet penetrated their hearts.” When it comes to engaging people, it’s not always going to be perfect. If you engage with a pure heart, one where you try to find what’s in the best interest of others, your outcome could be the same as Jesus feeding the five thousand…and my guess is your engagement will be far less impressive than His. But no matter how they receive it, you can rest easy when you know you were trying to ease a burden and not make life more difficult.
My encouragement to everyone reading is to engage people and ease their burdens. Don’t make life more difficult by pouring cement. Break the cement and lift people from it. Sometimes they’re going to be incredibly thankful. Other times they’re not going to understand what you did for them. Either way, you’ll know that you engaged as God might engage us if He were walking among us.