Dear Baseball Dads…(Bot9 #321)
Dear Baseball Dads,
Through over twenty years now in the baseball culture at different levels and in different cultures around the country, I consider myself blessed to have seen a great number of you raise your sons through the sport. I’ve had the opportunity to learn from those of you who have done this so very well. I’ve seen you grow, evolve, and come to peace with the experience your son had on and off the field. We’ve maintained relationships and now share grateful glances as we both reflect on shared experiences from years gone by.
I wish there were more of you. If there were, we wouldn’t be in the middle of an umpire crisis nationwide and on the cusp of the same question as it applies to people desiring to coach. While many view both of those vocations, umpiring and coaching, as being a largely thankless job with ever-increasing amounts of criticism thrown at those in those respective arenas, I want to express my gratitude to those of you who do such an amazing job of keeping baseball in a bigger perspective. It’s allowed me to grow and I’m so incredibly thankful for the great cloud of witnesses we have around us…if we only choose to see.
It’s no coincidence that what I observed you do through the years made its way into my subconscious thoughts and manifested itself in my book, Well Coached - Building the Brotherhood. The three elements of my UFO principle - Unity, Family, and Others - are what great baseball dads do for their communities and culture.
Unity
I’ve seen you live out Jesus’s prayer for all believers in John 17:20-23. When all three of us are in it together - me, you, and your son - we experience the glory of God. He blesses us with unity and that is miraculous. We should not refer to it as anything less.
What is far more common in the culture are those living out the opposite of Philippians 2:3-4. While Paul encourages us to “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but, in humility value others above yourselves,” all we see around us is the opposite. All we see around us are those operating out of selfish motives and valuing themselves above the team and the game. It’s what makes those of you seeking unity so miraculous.
I had a new friend share a quote with me at lunch this past week. His dad gave him this little nugget of wisdom that he’s held on to for his whole life. The nugget is, “What makes you think you can do another man’s job?” The baseball dads who have done unity well have given me the room to do my job because they recognize that I am in the arena and they are not. We’ve worked together and not in opposition to one another because you’ve chosen unity over selfishness or conceit.
Family
Families can be difficult, but they’re always family. When we engage in a team activity, we become a family. We’ll always be family. The bonds never break. The greatest attack on unity in the world has been to make team experiences commoditized and monetized because it’s made them less family-oriented and driven towards nothing more than personal gain.
I had an experience while in college where I had the opportunity to sit down and interview Dr. James Dobson from Focus on the Family. In hindsight, I have no idea why he would have opened the door to me. I had no faith to speak of and wanted to speak to him about the impact of controversial material (language, etc.) on its audience. As I think back, the purpose of an organization like his is to draw attention to the most basic of things in our society - the relationship of the family. When we strengthen the family, we strengthen the world.
But when you’re the one at Thanksgiving dinner causing the issues, everyone else second guesses coming to share the holiday with you the following year. You start to become isolated. No one stops loving you, but they choose to be around you less. The great baseball dads have always kept the long goal in mind and kept everything focused on a long-term relationship. The blessing of that has been the creation of a baseball family.
Others
I had the opportunity to witness a profound transformation in our baseball culture in 2016. It’s made what we do special to those in the program this many years later. I had spent a lot of time with some of the dads through youth baseball and supporting the high school’s softball culture. We shared a common vision of living out the teachings of Jesus in our culture. In the preseason, they made a simple choice - they were going to cheer on all of the other players more than their own son.
The results were astounding. Everyone cheered for one another’s kid. They weren’t so wrapped up in their son getting playing time or whether or not I was making all the right choices, they just cheered. What happened as a result was astounding. Players experienced freedom to perform and everyone experienced a collective joy that has been hard to replicate. The only reason for the challenge - people choose to think of themselves first and not others.
I’m so grateful to have spent time living in community with people who have chosen to live out the UFO principle. The fact of the matter is that seeing people living in Unity and Family while focusing on Others is as common as seeing a UFO fly through the sky. It’s far more common to see parents lob grenades at coaches and umpires. The only result of that action, as best as I can tell, is that there are less umpires and coaches ready to be in the arena for the next generation. I’m still hopeful for the Lord to bring restoration to the baseball community through little writings like this and that’s why I write. Without you, baseball dads, I would have no hope but only faith. Faith is hope in things not seen (Hebrews 11:1), but I have seen it. I live in hope that I’ll see it again.