Principles of Coaching #10 - Dictate the pace of your life - don't give in to the tyranny of the urgent (Bot9 #328)
This is yet another of the coaching principles that I may have heard at a younger age that took me a long time to implement. In fact, this is one of the principles from one of my coaching mentors first books and I know I heard it very early in my head coaching career. Implementation and any level of mastery didn’t come until much later.
The image above is the best visual I could think of to bring the idea home. In fact, it was after a game in the early spring this past season when I saw this clearly. It was then that I saw the game in what is a proper perspective for most of us. On the left is the Wheel of Life self assessment. You grade each of those eight areas on a scale of 1-10 to determine where you have a healthy life balance and where you might be out of whack. It’s a theory that brings in everything a human being needs to thrive. On the right is the 90 degrees of a baseball field. A baseball field is, can be, and maybe only should be 1/4 of the circle. It seems to me that many people in the game seek to make all 360 degrees of the Wheel of Life the 90 degrees of the baseball field. Some get to do this, but it’s a very, very small percentage of people who get to be totally fulfilled by the game in every area of their life. When we attempt to cram all 360 degrees into something that is only meant to be 90 degrees, we lose balance.
I’ve found three ways to dictate the pace of life, ways that have helped me to keep the whole 360 degrees in a healthier balance.
1. Intentional, advanced planning
Leadership author Jon Gordon talks about the enemies of unity and connection being busyness and stress. When we’re deep into a baseball season, busyness and stress naturally happen for us. Gordon writes, "The research shows when we are busy and stressed, we activate the reptilian part of our brain, which is associated with fear and survival...We don't make the time to unite and connect. There's actually a scientific term for this: cortical inhibition. That is when the amygdala (reptile brain) highjacks the neocortex, the part of the brain where you rationalize, make decisions, pray, practice gratitude, and love." When we’re in the throes of a season, we tend to focus on the 90 degrees of the field in an effort to survive.
I start every season by printing out a calendar of the next 5-6 months. I write in the games, practices, and team events. But I started adding more elements over the past few years. When are the intentional days off? When are the recovery days with our sports medicine team? When are the dates with my wife? When is the vacation with my family and where are we going? Having that to dream about ahead of time has kept me balanced by knowing when it will be, where we will be going, and talking about the vision of that future together instead of the survival of the moment. Additionally, I have two hour-long blocks in my calendar every day that say ‘Walk’ and ‘Lift’. Did I get my 10,000 steps in that day? When did I do engage in a more strenuous physical activity? Maybe most importantly for my balance and mental health, when was I going to write that week and consume some life-giving content for my personal growth? All of these elements are in my calendar and a part of my intentional, advanced planning.
2. Habits
In some ways, this is a repeat of some of the elements above because planning has become a habit for me. But it’s important for us to take control of our time. You determine your schedule, not someone else. Yes, there are going to be times where you have to show up and do something someone else desires you to do, especially if you are employed by someone else. However, so many of the elements of the Wheel of Life have nothing to do with your job. How can you take each of those elements and add them to your weekly calendar? This will make them habitual, and put you back into balance.
Some of these habits should be spiritual, especially as followers of Jesus. It’s one of the glaring omissions to the Wheel of Life. However, I’ve come to strong feelings about being an integrated being and how the Lord wishes to be a part of all of these parts of our lives. Have you ever considered inviting God into all of those parts of your life? Into every moment of your being? You can find inspirational verses in each of these areas which leads me to believe that the Creator of all things wants to be involved in every area of our lives. Making invitation a habit might be the most powerful habit of all.
3. Trust the Process
This saying was made famous by former Philadelphia 76ers general manger Sam Hinkie and it’s one that has become a part of the athletic lexicon as a result. You’re going to fail. You’re going to hit roadblocks as you establish a new process. But, in the midst of all of the difficulty, you’re going to begin to dictate the pace of your life and cease to succumb to the tyranny of the urgent. At a point in the future, when something arises that needs your immediate attention, something that requires a triage level of support, you’re going to be able to reestablish healthy rhythms on the other side. Remember that faith grows when failure hits. Greet all of those moments with gratitude for the opportunity to grow and celebrate when you’re back in rhythm. Trust the process and dictate the pace of your life.