Still Processing the Pandemic (Bot9 #295)
A once-every-20-year storm in Colorado will give you time inside to binge a Netflix series. For a coach, there might be no better show to consume than Last Chance U on Netflix. It gives those of us in athletics the opportunity to see inside someone else’s program, meet players and coaches, and think about how we might react in the same scenario. This season gives us a chance to do all of those things, and (SPOILER ALERT) to also relive the global shutdown from one year ago.
Sorry for the spoiler, but I was enjoying the show and then, as the events of the last episode hit the screen, realized I am still processing the pandemic. Specifically, I found myself reliving the grief and loss from last year and recognizing I’m not through the woods just yet. I watched the coach from Last Chance U have his season interrupted, have a final talk with his guys, and be around his players while the world was beginning to shut down.
Different from a college coach, a high school coach has less and more focused contact with their athletes. We generally don’t have more than a couple of hours per day with our players. For us, we had just come back from our team retreat after tryouts, held a couple of practices, cancelled our trip to Arizona, and found ourselves confined to our homes in the matter of one week. The last time I saw them together as a group was in front of our football stadium for five minutes telling them we’d be heading to remote learning and our season was suspended right before the spring break when we were to have played in a prestigious national tournament. I never got to coach them in a game, have that final talk with them in person after learning our season was officially cancelled (it happened over Zoom well over a month later), and missed the opportunity to go on a journey with them.
As I was curled up on the couch watching the events of the show, internally I was reliving all of the emotions from last year. I looked up “stages of grief” and find myself in the “Bargaining” stage of the cycle where a person is “struggling to find meaning” and “telling one’s story.” I had just come out of a desert experience of a couple of years and found myself leading others through a difficult experience. We’ve done that pretty well. More of our players signed to play college baseball than any previous year in our program. We’re on the field again practicing and playing some preseason games as we wait for the official start of our spring season. But missing last year’s season still hovers like a shadow. Proverbs 13:12 says “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.” What’s the dream to be fulfilled? I’m not sure. That season was lost forever, never to be played.
The coach in Last Chance U had the same experience. HIs season was suspended as they advanced to the final four and then the following season was cancelled. His best team didn’t have the opportunity to deliver a dream which has already been deferred for him. They’ve come close but have never won it all under his leadership. He’s a man of faith so I’m certain he’s going to the Word, leaning into his faith, and probably processing the pandemic as I am. Even when we get to the “Acceptance” stage (which will likely include masks, social distancing, less fans, etc., for a very, very long time), I’m not sure how that will feel for us. I know we’ll be transformed by such an experience. The only thing I can hope for both of us is that the person we become continues to be a greater representation of the men God desires for us to be.