The Elephant and the Rider (Bot9 #367)

The past few months have been chock full of events, if you’re familiar with the E + R = O language (Events + Responses = Outcomes). As you deal with event after event, it requires a lot of mental and emotional discipline to respond positively to each…and sometimes you don’t. It drew me back to an idea I heard last year for the first time about the elephant and the rider, an analogy popularized by psychologist Jonathan Haidt. 

Chip and Dan Heath reference the elephant and the rider in their book, Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard. They explain, "Perched atop the Elephant, the Rider holds the reins and seems to be the leader. But the Rider’s control is precarious because the Rider is so small relative to the Elephant. Anytime the six-ton Elephant and the Rider disagree about which direction to go, the Rider will lose. He’s completely overmatched.” Watch the two-minute video on The Elephant, The Rider and the Path - A Tale of Behavior Change. It’s important for us to recognize that in every situation with another human being, we are dealing with two variables, the analytical “rider” and the emotional “elephant” at the same time.

As John C. Maxwell says, “The first person you lead is you.” That means you also have a rider on top of an emotional elephant. Are you more driven by the rational rider? Do you revisit your ‘why’ or your personal culture statement every week to ground your thinking? Do you execute a plan every day in your work or do you just show up to work? Are you more driven by the emotion of certain situations? If your elephant is running all over your family, your coaching staff, and your team, it’s probably going to be difficult to lead them…because you’ve already trampled them and they don’t know which direction you’re headed. It’s important that we recognize we have two sides that must be nourished each day. You must direct your internal message to both sides - you’re leading both the elephant and the rider.

In leading others, it’s important for us to display a rational direction, emotion under control, and a path others want to follow. Without these three elements, we will see athletes, parents, and even our coaching staff succumb to the emotion of a situation and allow the elephant to take over. When expectations aren’t being met in some way, shape or form, emotions increase, people are confused, and disappointment reigns.

So what’s the path and how do we articulate it for others?

It could be as simple as providing a simple phrase I’ve called a culture statement. In my first book, Well Coached - A Coach’s Journey, I articulate the process I used to draw on the collective wisdom of my coaching staff. I asked them to respond to a question and engage in a discussion through which we would determine the most important and valuable things every player could experience as a part of our program. We decided that our statement would read, “We will be gritty, free, high-achieving, loving followers of Christ.”

Through our discussions, we felt that grit (the intersection of passion and perseverance, as defined by author Angela Duckworth) was a valuable tool for every young man. The desire for every player to play and experience freedom on the field has been really important for me so I made sure it was in there. Coaching in a place with excellence as a cornerstone, high achievement was important, but we also felt that being gritty and free would lead to high achievement. We also felt that teams who love one another will fight for each other as they would be willing to sacrifice their own egos for the sake of their brothers. Lastly, it has always been our goals for every one of our players to follow Christ as the source of all goodness and wisdom.

The best part of a culture statement is that these become the consistent teaching points year after year for the program. That’s the very definition of a program, “a set of related measures or activities with a particular long-term aim.” I’d argue that very few coaches at the high school level actually run a program, but rather just lead their team into a series of games year after year. A culture statement helps define your program towards a long-term aim and goal (very similar to last week’s encouragement about defining one’s target, in all reality).

We also have to remember that this generation of young people hears more, consumes more, and has more influencing their minds during their formative years than any in human history. Without a culture statement, your players will start driving themselves on any number of available paths. The “information superhighway” is fast, distracting, and is unrelenting. Give your athletes peace and consistency by hearing the same things year after year with more depth and color.

Take a look at these three elements recently published by The Daily Coach. I’ve adapted some of these words to incorporate the idea of a culture statement. It’s such a simple a powerful tool as we consider directing the rider, motivating the elephant, and shaping the path to success:

1. Direct the Rider. What looks like resistance is often a lack of clear and concise direction. It needs to be simple, easy to understand and repeat. Always ask yourself what works—and repeat. Find the bright spots and enhance those. Do what you do well—and keep doing it. The words of a culture statement provides direction.

2. Motivate the Elephant. Since we know that side is emotional and needs care, we must fuel this part of our minds with rewards for doing one small thing, which becomes a bigger achievement. Think of yourself as an elephant — reward yourself for doing something different. A culture statement should fuel our needs and desires for growth and success. When it does, our elephant is fed and calm.

3. Shape the Path. Create the conditions for both the rider and the elephant to excel. Your culture statement should help your team experience daily, weekly, and even season-long success. No matter what you experience internally, you use the culture statement to shape the path behind and ahead. It provides a level of excitement and fulfillment through intentional effort.

If you’d like help creating your team’s culture statement, I’d love to engage with you!