The Parable of the Turtle and the Scorpion (Bot9 #357)
In the research for my talk at an Athletic Director Clinic next month, I came across a story about a turtle and a scorpion. I was searching for a story to illustrate the difficulty we have with trusting one another and this little parable spoke volumes.
The story, which I am now using as my opener for the talk, goes this way. A turtle and a scorpion are on one side of a river. They need to get to the other side, but the turtle is obviously better equipped to do so. The scorpion turns to the turtle and asks him for a ride to the other side. The turtle examines the scorpion, from claws to stinger, and has reservations about the request. However, the turtle chooses to take the scorpion to the other side of the river. The two make it across the river and, upon arriving at the other side, the scorpion stings the turtle. The turtle asks the scorpion why he stung him and the scorpion says, “It’s my nature.”
There’s a lot to unpack from the story, but the application I’m taking is trying to understand the people we’re working with in athletics today.
For coaches, I wish I could say that we’re the turtles in the story all of the time, but we’re not. Adam Grant, Organizational Psychologist and New York Times best-selling author, tweeted a study from the Journal of Sport & Exercise Psychology titled, “Scarred for the Rest of My Career? Career-Long Effects of Abusive Leadership on Professional Athlete Aggression and Task Performance” highlighting that when NBA players have abusive coaches, they play more poorly for the rest of their careers—and commit more technical fouls. Coaches can be scorpions, but we need to strive to be turtles.
Coaches have the potential to be turtles as well, and, as a people group, we are experiencing a growing distrust of parents. As a result, coaches are wanting to build walls and barriers to protect themselves, or, even worse, leaving coaching altogether. It’s an interesting metaphor to carry out, this whole turtle and scorpion idea. Parents (the scorpions for the sake of this paragraph) do not have the ability to carry their kids across the river, or from one level of sport to the next, but they’ll sting the ones who do. It’s truly foolish when you think of it this way. But, for many coaches across the country, they’ve experienced the sting of a parent or group of parents and are reacting by protecting themselves.
Not every parent is a scorpion, and we need to be clear about that. But our social media and internet environment are creating an environment where parents are increasingly misinformed while having more information at their fingertips than ever before. They have a growing distrust of school sports and are increasing their investment in club athletics. I’ve been on both sides of the fence and fault neither the school or clubs, but all that is happening is a heightened sensitivity for all involved, causing people to be more likely to sting one another.
Add to this mix a notion we see increasing in the athletes themselves - a generation of kids using athletics as a utilitarian device, nothing more than a means to an end. Name, Image, and Likeness deals happening in high schools and colleges across the country are warping any purity of sport that once existed. When you’re only looking out for your own best interests as a young person, you’re going to be more likely to become a scorpion and sting others.
Whether you are a coach, parent, or athlete, everyone you encounter has likely been stung and may be waiting to sting someone else if they haven’t dealt with the pain of their last sting appropriately. There’s an amazing opportunity in this for all of us. In an environment of scorpions, we have an amazing opportunity to create positive experiences and relationships through intentional connections. Remember that, if we choose to be the turtle, we have the protection of our shell. We have the joy of knowing that we have the opportunity to carry someone from one side of the river to the other. That could be a young athlete to the next level of competition, or a parent to a better experience through caring for their kid, or a coach to healing and choosing to continue to coach. May we continue to choose to be turtles in the land of scorpions.